Read time: 3.5 minutes

Hi Reader
​
I spent yesterday in the members area of the Tate Modern (look at the view) chatting with my friend and ex-colleague Robin pretty much all day.

​
We both own solo consultancies, are parents, care deeply about people and are going through a lot of complex change.

​

And as we reflected on our experiences and the experiences of our clients - both individuals and organisations, we realised that there is a part of change no one talks about...and it stops people from making changes in their life they desperately need.

​

The immediate aftershock.

​

Because often when we decide to make a change, there is an inevitable period of pain where things feel a lot worse...before they get better.
​
There is no skipping it, avoiding it, sidestepping it. You have to walk straight through to reach the other side.

​

If you want to lose weight and get fitter

↳You have to struggle through exercise, feeling hungry and overhauling your habits.

​

If you are moving house

↳You have to pack everything up, throw things away, operate in limbo for a period of time and figure out your new normal

​

If you decide to change careers

↳you face decisions, self-doubt, and the identity shake-up of starting fresh.

​

And here’s the thing: that’s not a sign you’re failing.

It’s proof you’re actually moving.

​

The workout aches mean your muscles are growing.
The moving boxes mean you’re building a new home.
The career wobble means you’re stepping into a new version of yourself.

​

We don’t avoid change because we think the discomfort is wrong.
​

We avoid it because of the inevitable loss, discomfort and uncertainty that comes before the positive results.

​

The wobble in confidence. The limbo where the old way has gone but the new way hasn’t landed yet.

​

That’s the stretch that stops so many people from making bold moves. Not the decision itself, but the stamina to sit in the in-between.

​

👉 The real work of change is learning to trust that the discomfort isn’t permanent.

​

Because if you can hold steady through that messy middle, you give yourself a shot at the future you actually want instead of retreating back to the safety of what you already know.

​

That's what we do in UNTAPPED - that's why you're in for 6 months so you have support in the messy middle after you have made your career decision and through the process of stepping into your next career path.

​

So if you’re in that in-between right now: it’s not a setback, it’s the bridge. Keep walking 🤍

---

3....2....1....move

​

3 → Micro Truths 🧠

i) Change isn’t hard because of the leap - it’s hard because of how long you have to live in the uncertain in-between.

ii) The messy middle isn’t a failure - it’s where your old identity unravels so a new one can take shape.

iii) What makes change stick isn’t speed, it’s stamina

​

2 → Spotlights 🔦
​

i) 🎧 How to Fail with Elizabeth Day – Season 4, Episode 4: Mo Gawdat​
Mo Gawdat drops a game-changing truth: we survive discomfort by shifting expectation, not avoiding pain. His “equation for happiness”—perception of reality minus expectation—teaches that discomfort becomes manageable when we align our expectations with reality
​

​Listen here​

​
​ii. 🎧 Calm & Confident with Trina – “Embracing the Messy Middle” (Episode 16)​
This episode names the messy middle exactly what it is: the often-uncomfortable stretch after you’ve made the decision but before the new life has solidified. It normalises the fog and gives you permission to show up anyway.
​
​Listen here​

​
​NB: both of these links are affiliate links.

​

1 → The Big Question 🤔

Where are you underestimating the time it takes to move through change and what would shift if you treated that messy middle as part of the process, not the problem?

​

Have a great weekend when you get there

Yas x

---

​

PS: If you’re stuck in that mess and confusion with your career - not knowing what you want from your next career move - I built something to help: the Confusion to Career Clarity Blueprint. It's the reset guide I wish I had when I was feeling stuck and overwhelmed about what was next post consulting and the exact place I start with all my 1:1 and UNTAPPED clients. ​
​

Get it for just £27 here

​
​
​PPS: I get emotional when I read testimonials like these - so wanted to share with you all. ​
​

​