read time: 2.5 min
"They're lucky to have me"
That's the self-narrative Sara Davies landed on after struggling with imposter syndrome when she first arrived on Dragons Den.
She was hired for her authentic, northern, kind, firm, colourful self - not because she was typically "dragon-ey"
↳ So she leant into that
She didn't have Touker's traditional retail experience, Deborah's travel experience, or Peter's conglomerate. But she did have a wealth of knowledge about TV shopping, e-commerce, and the craft industry.
↳ So she leant into that
I'm listening to her episode on the High Performance Podcast and putting the finishing touches to Day 2 of my workshop that I'm running this week (which is centred around building confidence to move forward).
And I felt compelled to share some of my biggest learnings around confidence as it's single-handedly the biggest blocker that stops people from going after the life they want.
So here are 5 key learnings; from my own experience, what I have learnt from others and my knowledge as a coach.
1| Confidence isn't a personality trait
It's so easy to look at someone and think "I wish I was that confident". However you are often looking at someone in their element, doing something they have practiced and developed over a period of years. They have built confidence in a specific situation through growing their experiences & skills. You can do the same.
2| The skill isn't actually "confidence"
It's the ability to catch yourself in a lack of confidence spiral and reframe your thoughts.
Ask yourself; "is this true?", "what experience do I have that counteracts these feelings and proves my worth?" & "is this just because I haven't developed my knowledge, skills and experience in this situation?"
3| Confidence comes from building strong foundations
Foundations are like the narratives you tell yourself, your belief system, and the daily habits you build.
Think of it like brain nutrition.
In the same way eating healthy for one day won't improve your physical fitness, applying confidence systems (visualisation, affirmations, journalling) for a single day won't transform your mental fitness either.
It's in the reps.
4 | The attitude of gratitude changes everything
This isn't a woo woo, kum-bah-yaa thing.
So many people tell themselves: "I will be happy when..."
I get a new job
I lose that 15lb
I go on that holiday
I buy that house
I renovate that kitchen
And then there is always a next thing. Your modus operandi is from a place of lack.
When you start from a place of gratitude, especially when experiencing feelings of overwhelm, discomfort, lack of confidence - you are automatically putting yourself in a place of contentment and peace.
When you start doing it, you will notice how often you think about the things you don't have rather than the things you do.
5 | You are enough as you are
You can put in place all the habits, feel grateful for your life and your world, grow your knowledge, skills and experience...
But until you truly believe that you are enough, you carry value and you practice self-love, the confidence is never going to feel natural.
And it's because that confidence is already within you.
YOU just need to give yourself permission to let it out.
What does that look like in practice?
Your self-talk, not judging who you are, what you don't have or your past mistakes. Appreciating what you bring to the table and recognising the exceptional within you.
The impact?
Not chasing external validation, attracting aligned opportunities and relationships, the ability to sit in discomfort and trusting yourself that you can do hard things.
You start saying "they're lucky to have me".
I could talk about confidence forever but I have a workshop to finish and you have a day to crack on with.
If you want to make your next career move in 3 months with clarity & confidence - then don't miss this workshop.
Wednesday 22nd and Thursday 23rd: 8-9:30pm
(and I'll stay on the call for however long to answer questions after)
